OOC: This is completely and totally AU. I just had the idea after talking with Alan!mun and I have her permission to use him. Feel free to comment anyway! Stephen smiled down at the four year old girl clinging to his pant leg. Normally he would have scowled at the ensuing wrinkles in his perfectly pressed trousers which would make themselves apparent as soon as she let go, but this was his child. Parents were known to be biased and he was no exception. Neither was the other father of the tiny brunette.
Yes. Father. No. Not gay. After a long talk over several glasses of scotch and an
I am America (and So Can You!) book review Stephen and his co-BFF Alan Shore decided that if there was one person in the world who exemplified America at it's finest, it was certainly Denny Crane: flamingo and coo coo for coco puffs.
How better to honor someone of such great esteem than to mold another being in their honor? After much arguing, coaxing, doing something which certainly wasn't begging, and finally having the strangest sex of his life, Stephen was delighted to hear his wife agree to his newest plan. The girl adopted by Stephen and Alan was a baby, so her mind would be fresh for the correct ideas which all human beings should have. One could never be too sure of kids these days. With prayer taken out of schools and less and less children knowing the pledge of alligiance it was a wonder that the little heathens weren't terrorizing all corners of the earth, or at least every McDonalds.
So now four years later Stephen and Alan were preparing Danielle for her weekly visit to Uncle Denny. After gently prying her off his leg Stephen asked, "Now what have you learned this week that you are
not going to tell Uncle Denny?"
The small voice recited cheerfully, "That Daddy is a Communist and his pink ties are proof of his allegiance to the Party. " Beaming, Stephen stroked the hair on the top of her head, careful not to disturb the pigtails which Alan had worked on for two hours. Neither of them had yet gotten used to the concept of female grooming.
Alan shook his head, "I can understand you not wanting her to bring that up to Denny, but
really,
Stephen. If you're going to teach her things about me at least tell her the truth. Liberalism is just as frightening. Just look at the Democratic Party and the last President it gave you. Sex out of wedlock! Can you imagine?" There was more than a hint of a chuckle in Alan's voice, which of course was completely lost on his friend.
"Shh! She doesn't need to know about Bill Clinton yet! It's bad enough that she knows who Hilary is."
Again, the girl's voice piped up. "The man-lady?"
Alan's eyes flew open wide. "Who?"
Stephen's already significant sense of pride in himself inflated when Danielle responded, "Lord and Master says that Hilary Clinton is a man-lady whose only goal in life is to tear down the political makeup of our great nation."
A frown etched itself across Alan's face, deepening the wrinkles along his eyes and mouth. "Stephen, I thought we agreed that we would let Danielle find her own place within the political spectrum. After hearing her say this you know that our little trip will have to wait until after time-out."
This time throwing herself at Alan's leg, Danielle latched herself to him as tightly as a bear trap. "No time outs!" she pleaded.
Alan wouldn't budge. "Go to the corner and think about what you've done," he said firmly, throwing his arm into the air with a point. "Go now or none of Tad's brownies for a week."
Stephen's slouders slumped, and with arms hanging loose at his sides he trudged to the corner of the room and shoved his nose into it. He always hated it when Alan put him in time-out, but goddammit he loved those brownies.
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