Feb. 27th, 2008

Headlines

Feb. 27th, 2008 02:38 am
lincolnish: (stephen save us)


It's bad enough that the Browns even get in newspapers at all. They suck, always have and always will. Sucky things shouldn't get into newspapers, but they do all the time. Just ask Monica Lewinsky.

Anywayyy JUST LOOK AT THE HEADLINE! Do I even need to explain myself here? They're getting noticed for sex that isn't sex. It's non-sex-wordplay-sex. Bad reporter for writing this joke of an article, bad! I could do better than you, you schmuck. Then again, I do better than everybody, especially Murphy Brown. The show she's on doesn't even have her name in the title. Pathetic.

And what do you mean "Booty could get call"? That's worse than a girl doing any actual teasing. First you have non-sex in print, now you're teasing the readers about this non-sex. Newspaper With Words Written On You, are you or are you not having non-sex? Tell the truth, and yes I will judge you. You shouldn't be having could be booty calls until marriage. I don't see a rubber band around you, you can't trick me. I know that's your types' version of a wedding ring.

Good people, evidence like this is what makes me reaffirm my beliefs. Nation - teach your newspapers about abstinence

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Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA

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