lincolnish: (weather/even stephven)
Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA ([personal profile] lincolnish) wrote2008-10-30 06:12 pm
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The Longest Day

I don't know why anybody hasn't written about this before but the longest day is CLEARLY when we fall back for Daylight Savings Time. It adds an hour to a twenty four hour day, therefore making it twenty five hours. Done. What's there to debate about? Godless pagan people, don't you dare mention your heathen Summer Solstice. Just because the sun is up in the sky doesn't mean that the day gets any longer. It's still twenty four hours. If your argue with me, you can't count. Ask anyone how long a day is. Ask Jack Bauer. That guy knows what I'm talking about.

Everyone else who responded to this topic is being all metaphorical and whatnot, whining about how agonizing their days are. I'm all for metaphors. My hand is a giant tree made out of Sharpie markers who leak rainbow gold made to cleanse the world from Clifford the Big Red Dog (he's a Commie) and Cher (no I don't believe in life after love). See, that is what literate types call an extended metaphor. I don't read, but I know this anyway. I'm educated. I'm a doctor. And I know how long the longest day is, unlike most of these idiots.

[identity profile] 2008-10-30 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
Dare I ask what you're a doctor of?

[identity profile] 2008-10-30 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
So that would make you a yourmomologist? Or a Doctor of Yourmommery?


[identity profile] 2008-10-30 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
The first. But capitalized.

[identity profile] 2008-10-30 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
I see.

[identity profile] 2008-10-30 07:42 am (UTC)(link)
I'm tempted to employ you as an advisor, Stephen.

[identity profile] 2008-10-30 01:32 pm (UTC)(link)
You're so right. Why do we even have it anyway? The proportion of farmers to non-farmers is enough that the extra hour doesn't mean anything anymore.