lincolnish: (Default)
Do you know what I miss the most? Dinosaurs. That's right, I said it. Even if I have never seen these famed creatures outside of "Jurassic Park" and the silly silly antics of Dino in "The Flintstones" I know that I miss them. I mean, there are so many kinds! There are singing ones that you want to kick in the face, like Barney, the cute animated kind from The Land Before Time: part 8,941,502, and the absolutely terrifying kind. The last one is the best and do you want to know why dear people? They would rid us all of the bear population! What better way to destroy the fuzzy salmon eaters than with Sharptooth the T-rex? I'd buy tickets to this show.

However, if the dinosaurs start getting funny ideas like wanting voting rights and special toothpaste they are going back to fossil land. I don't want dinosaurs running our economy! It would be a disaster! They's just stomp all over everything and bring us right back to where they want us- the caveman days. Do you want that? I didn't think so. And if they dinos think they are going to squash the CBS headquarters where the filming of my beloved Days of Our Lives takes place they have another thing coming. No one gets in the way of my soaps! I gots ta have my stories.

*bites lower lip in concentration* Y'know, maybe the dinosaurs were a bad idea.

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Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA

November 2009

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