lincolnish: (fig. 1)
[personal profile] lincolnish
Excuse me? No. Why do I need to talk about politics on my own free time just because you asked me to? You didn't even say please. In case you haven't heard, I have my own tv show on which I talk about politics and get PAID for it. If you want to hear me talk about how this country is going down the toilet due to tree huggers, hippies, the "musical stylings" of Barry Manilow, and as always, bears, you're going to have to tune in to Comedy Central on Monday through Thursday nights to do so. I am not your trained monkey. I'm not your trained anything. (Well, except potty trained, but I know that we're all civilized people here. Anyone who still wets the bed is unworthy of reading my blog. Hey you wallowing in the yellow stained chair, yeah you, don't think I can't see you sitting there naked except for your Depends. Get out and take your Clive Owen DVD collection with you. Leave the prunes, they're mine.)

I'm sure you expected me to rant and be predictable and give you a good laugh. Well the jokes' on you, expectant people! Take this prompt and stick it on the TV, then wait for 11:30 pm Eastern time to roll around. If you don't, I know of another place where you can stick it. I'll answer this on my own time, nevermind that by the time you see my show, it'll be a recording. If you don't care enough to be one of my flock in person then you don't deserve to have instant access to the goods. Yes, that reference was sexual, just in case you were wondering.
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Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA

November 2009

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