lincolnish: (our leader)
[personal profile] lincolnish
Ok,  yeah, this quote is total bullshit. Do you know what really grows on you when you get older? Gray hairs. Gray with an a because that's the AMERICAN way to do it, I don't want to hear this gray with an e crap. That makes it grey then it's not gray anymore. Firefox spell check doesn't even count it as a word, so there.

Anyway, gray hair grows on your head if you're lucky. A lot of people go bald, now I am a Catholic and I respect the church as much as anybody, but I'm not ready to go around looking like a monk anytime soon. I'm a brother, but not that kind of brother.

Luckily, I only have a few stray GRAY hairs around my temples. Yes, I know from far away it looks like I have jet black hair that would blend in perfectly with the night sky, but look closely and you'll see the GRAYS. I refuse to die my hair, that's for girls.

You know what else grows on old people? Warts. I don't have any but my Grandpa Fred did. When I was eight I told him that he looked like a pirate ship with barnacles all over it. He kicked my ass, literally. Damn, Grandpa had some pointy boots. Old people also have GRAY hair that grows out of their ears and nose. They also eat at the Golden Corral a lot and go to sleep at 4:30. Getting old isn't about happy endings. It's about prune juice and potlucks and bingo every Thursday at your local rec center.

Date: 2008-08-20 10:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mutantwatch.livejournal.com
*is on the floor*

Oh, Stephen. I've missed you.

ooc: and we had an RP I entirely forgot about... *headdesk*

Date: 2008-08-20 11:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
Stephen says he missed Robert too, but the OOC icon scares him.

No worries! I'm totally flexible.

ooc

Date: 2008-08-20 11:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mutantwatch.livejournal.com
I obviously should not be trusted to write replies to anything.

Re: ooc

Date: 2008-08-20 11:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
Er, did I read that wrong? I couldn't figure out if the tag was IC or OOC but you used the OOC icon so I went with that.

Re: ooc

Date: 2008-08-20 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mutantwatch.livejournal.com
Um, yeah. It was going to be an OOC comment but then I decided it might as well be IC but I forgot to change the icon. Sorry for the confusion!

Re: ooc

Date: 2008-08-20 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
It's ok, do you want me to have Stephen tag IC and have a do over?

Re: ooc

Date: 2008-08-20 11:59 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-08-20 12:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
I have a Nation to save, Senator. It's hard work.

Date: 2008-08-20 12:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mutantwatch.livejournal.com
Excited about the elections?

Date: 2008-08-20 12:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
No. They remind me of how I was denied my right to be put on the presidential ballot.

Date: 2008-08-20 12:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mutantwatch.livejournal.com
Ah. A travesty.

So you're not voting?

Date: 2008-08-20 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
Understatement of the century!

Of course I'm voting. All my candidates are write ins. Donald Duck for County Clerk!

Date: 2008-08-20 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mutantwatch.livejournal.com
Well. That'll show them.

Date: 2008-08-20 12:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
I'm telling you, I'm saving this country. First through the television and now with the ballot. Think of all the fans I bring with me!

Date: 2008-08-20 01:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] claire-simms.livejournal.com
What if you win Bingo, isn't that a happy ending?

Date: 2008-08-20 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
Not really. The mere fact that you're playing Bingo in the first place shows that you probably need the money for dentures.

Date: 2008-08-21 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xaxayayana.livejournal.com
Lucky for me, I'll never age!

And you'll never age, too! If you're lucky. And stop fighting with Other Daddy. *winks coyly*

Date: 2008-08-21 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
You will stay eternally young and beautiful!

Alas, dearest Xaxa, I am but mortal. *dramatic sigh!* Other Daddy and I are going to do our best. We ever signed up for couples therapy just for you!

Date: 2008-08-21 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xaxayayana.livejournal.com
Oh, you're not mere mortal to me, Daddy!

I love you! *plants a big wet smooch on his cheek*



Date: 2008-08-21 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
It's because I'm godlike, right?

I love you and this family too, schmoopykins! *big hug!*

Date: 2008-08-21 01:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xaxayayana.livejournal.com
Well, I got my god-like powers from your side of the family!

I love it when you call me schmoopykins. Whisper it into my ear.

Date: 2008-08-21 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
I knew it! I don't need a supersuit!

Xaxa dear, I don't think that's appropriate.

Date: 2008-08-21 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xaxayayana.livejournal.com
Nope! I can see auras, and yours is made of gold titanium alloy! Just like Other Daddy's Supersuit.

No? Well call my schmoopykins more often anyway. It's so cute!

Date: 2008-08-21 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
Are you trying to tell me something? Is your psychic ability saying that Other Daddy and I are meant to be?

I can handle cute. Ok, schmoopykins!

Date: 2008-08-21 01:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xaxayayana.livejournal.com
Of course you are! You two are soulmates. Never forget that.

*giggles and flaps her wings*

Date: 2008-08-21 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
I haven't. He has, the bastard.

You are so pretty when you flap your wings!

Date: 2008-08-21 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xaxayayana.livejournal.com
*picks Daddy up and flies him around in circles*

Wee!!

Date: 2008-08-21 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
I'm flyiiiiing! Can you take me higher, Bobbie?

Date: 2008-08-21 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
As high as a cloud!

OOC

Date: 2008-09-26 08:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-julianna-cox.livejournal.com
...omg I <3 you for the "gray with an a" thing. Because I *just* had that debate today!

Re: OOC

Date: 2008-09-28 03:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
Oh really? What did you say?

Re: OOC

Date: 2008-09-28 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-julianna-cox.livejournal.com
Something along the lines of "Gray-with-an-a, bitches"...

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Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA

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