lincolnish: (bears 2)
[personal profile] lincolnish
BEARS

I know, Nation. I say this one a lot, but I do it out of the goodness of my heart and for your own good. Unfortunately, many of you out there seem to think of this as a joke. It's not. Bears are a very serious matter, and the fact that you are not all quaking in your red, white, and blue boots means that they are successfully doing their job of lowering their suspisciosity. Don't recognize that word? It's because I made it up. Call Webster.

Moving on to my next point for those of you who are still alive to read it and not festering in the stomach of a giant mammal that starts with a B and rhymes with "hair" - 

HOLLYWOOD

Recently a little film, I don't know if you've heard of it, called The Dark Knight was released in theaters across the world. Not even a day later it seems like everyone and their mother is running around either wanting to be Batman or the Joker. Just what kind of an example are we setting for our children? We're sending them all off to be leather clad gays and clowns. Sure, you may think Christian Bale is cute now, but sooner or later the cycle of bad Batman movies is going to repeat itself and we're going to be left with a 75 year old George Clooney wearing his rubble nipples. Do you want that? I know I sure don't.

As for clowns, I don't have to explain why they're scary. We all know that a picture says a thousand words.

Date: 2008-07-25 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lt-wes-janson.livejournal.com
Edited Date: 2008-07-25 04:46 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-07-27 03:59 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-07-25 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mutantwatch.livejournal.com
That certainly sounds like a scary vision of the future, Stephen.

Date: 2008-07-27 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mr-colbert.livejournal.com
It is! You aren't advocating the rubber nipples are you?

Date: 2008-07-27 04:24 am (UTC)

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Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA

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